Something about Paris was calling me shortly after my divorce was final. It was to be the first of my solo traveling experiences. I added a women’s tour with the plan to make connections just in case I felt lonely. Something happened though, that was much bigger than any of my plans. In Paris, my angels visited me. Now before you decide I’ve gone off the deep end, let me just add that I’ve had conversations with my angels a few times in my life and each time, something I’ll call perspective, shifted deep within me.
This is what happened. After a lovely week of being immersed in the wonders of being a French woman in France, my perspective was a great appreciation but I was convinced none of it was attainable in my life. My reality was that my youth was long gone. Life had happened, and as for dating, my southern friend Caroline was fond of saying, “Honey, that train has left the station.” I loved admiring the couture lingerie, my eyes filled with tears when Madame Cadolle shared that French couples often chose the woman’s lingerie together. I listened to presentations on perfume, became intrigued with the elegant, complex scents that didn’t give me the guaranteed headache of American perfumes. I wandered down streets and looked in store windows, fantasizing that I could get similar clean, classic, and elegant clothing made for me back in the states. It was a week of total immersion into femininity – something I hadn’t had much of the last decade of my marriage. But again, I was sure that the tour experiences were all purely acquired knowledge versus anything that could be applied to my life.
Then my angels arrived. I was on one of the tourist boats, softly traveling on the Seine, and as I looked up at the scene along the river, everyone seemed to have a lover or good friend next to them. Suddenly my eyes filled with tears. I tried to hold my pain inside but I couldn’t. As tears rolled down my cheeks, I felt deep regret that I had missed my love portal, and now faced a life alone. As I choked back the sobs, (if I had been alone, it would have been one of those all out messy cries) I reflected on never again having someone admire me in my lingerie, no one to hold my hand as we walked the streets of Paris, no one to share to the intimate smiles and looks that only a couple in love shares. I am a woman who enjoys loving someone as much as being loved, so envisioning this future was heartbreaking.
Hoping no one could see my tears; I looked out across the river. Suddenly, the building in front of me was illuminated with light. Then I heard the voices of my angels. At first I was confused, but their voices were loud, clear and very direct. My angels told me I was to purchase the lingerie, spray on the perfume, wear elegant, pretty clothing, and make the yummy dinners…. all for myself. My angels told me that it was time to love me, admire the woman I am and celebrate my grit and determination with loving thoughts and actions rather than drowning myself with regrets. They said I had rejected myself just as my husband had rejected me. My angels told me to stop with all my assumptions and judgments about my future, and embrace love, starting with myself.
Since that angel visit, I bought the perfume, had a couture bra and nightgown made, wore clothing that made me feel attractive and most important, began to embrace the possibilities of my future rather than the losses of my past.
Perspective is everything because it colors the world around us, and influences every choice we make and experience we have in our lifetime. I have my coaching clients fill out a brief questionnaire that gets us talking and exposes some of those faulty beliefs that are guiding their choices and actions. Together, we begin to knock down those inaccurate beliefs and they learn to look at options with a completely new perspective. Like me, my clients find the world looks incredibly different from an entirely new perspective!
We all have angels, but sometimes our lives are too loud to hear them. If that feels like you, a great place to start is by asking yourself that old question, “What if…”
Give it a try. Write everything down that comes to you. No filtering!
“What if I could develop that business?”
“What if I could enjoy traveling solo?”
“What if I could write that book?”
“What if I could run a half-marathon?”
“What if I treated myself as the most special person in my life?”
“What if…and now it is your turn to answer.”